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Old Sep 12, 2005, 12:02 PM // 12:02   #1
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Exclamation Petition to end the meaningless slaughter of Dolyaks




As we are all aware, the common Shiverpeak Dolyak (Dolyakus Snowbuffalus Vulgaris) plays a prominent part in the rather sinister practices of the malafide red-eyed Stone Summit dwarves. Due to its rather domesticable nature, the Shiverpeak Dolyak (by no means one of Melandru's most cold-blooded creatures), has easily fallen prey to the dwarves' oppression. While the Dolyak cannot possibly be blamed for its mild complexion, it is our duty as sentient beings (Homo Farmiens Farmiens) to end the Stone Summit's rule of terror.


I also understand that ArenaNet in its boundless benevolence has more pressing matters at hand (fix the Chaos Axe shadow!) than to address the source of this infamy, so I advance to you, fellow liberators of the Shiverpeaks, the following simple yet effective rule to live by. A small gesture of kindness that will go a long way in securing a better future for the Dolyak.





Thanking you in advance and with best adventuring wishes,

Lagg "Dolyak Boy" Olagg

Last edited by Lagg; Sep 12, 2005 at 12:07 PM // 12:07..
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 12:57 PM // 12:57   #2
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I just kinda woke up and after reading this three or four times
I have no clue what you mean but i will say that aww man i so
want some of what your taking first thing in a morning sooo bad!
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 01:02 PM // 13:02   #3
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ummm, yes I think I can see your point... which probably means that I should seriously reconsider my attitude towards drugs...

anyway, SAVE THE DOLYAKS!
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 01:03 PM // 13:03   #4
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Hahhaha... classic
I too have always felt bad for the dolyak, its not their faut.
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 01:07 PM // 13:07   #5
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Lagg, your dedication to the lovable Doylak is commendable. However, how am I, a fire mage, or any of my bretheren supposed to hit the damn rider and not the doylak when our only way to attack is area spells? I beg you, resolve this quandry!
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 01:10 PM // 13:10   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T1Cybernetic
I just kinda woke up and after reading this three or four times
I have no clue what you mean but i will say that aww man i so
The dumbed down version:


Dolyaks are innocent. Don't kill Dolyaks, kill the dwarves that ride them.

Free the Dolyak!


Quote:
Want some of what your taking first thing in a morning sooo bad!
Panadol. It contains Paracetamol to make the pain go away. You just don't want what's causing the pain. You really don't.
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 01:15 PM // 13:15   #7
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I take coffee first thing in the morning ;P Althought it isnt really waking me up right now.
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 01:17 PM // 13:17   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Starlight
Lagg, your dedication to the lovable Doylak is commendable. However, how am I, a fire mage, or any of my bretheren supposed to hit the damn rider and not the doylak when our only way to attack is area spells? I beg you, resolve this quandry!
Your query is righteous and just, and while the Board of Dolyak Preservation is looking into it as we speak, I can already present a viable solution to all Warriors heeding the call.

Bring a ladder.
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 01:33 PM // 13:33   #9
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i always aimed for the damn dwarf but the beast stood in the way...

Anyway..lets give a try at Dolyakburgers
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 01:45 PM // 13:45   #10
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OMFG - You just made my day.

1. As a warrior, I find it hard to swing my axe above my head and jump senselessly to kill some damned Dolyak Master mofo that is going aound healing punk-ass Ice Imps.
2. As a mesmer, I will strive to use the power of my mind to shatter the brains of that Master.
3. As a nuker, it will be very hard to save them.
4. As a ranger, I only wish I could tame these wild beasts.
5. As a necromancer, you're screwed, because I'm vampire, and I like death and stuff. I'll try not to play the necro so much in the shiverpeaks, because exploding dolyak corpses or turning their poor souls into my precious minions is my mission in life.
6. As a monk, I promise to only wand the Dolyaks with my holy damage, while I save the people they are stomping on.

In conclusion, this will be a tough change, but maybe for the better.
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 01:58 PM // 13:58   #11
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Just coming round still but im so glad you explained it simply to me, .
But i most definately agree, and so as the french would say,

Économiser le dolyak!


Failing that Dolyakburgers do sound kinda nice!
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 02:01 PM // 14:01   #12
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nah.. not exactly

in fr u say ..

Sauvez le Dolyak !!
Epargnez la vie de ces (petites) bĂȘtes innocentes
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 02:08 PM // 14:08   #13
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I am the Brigitte Bardot of Dolyaks.
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 02:09 PM // 14:09   #14
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nooo not a blonde
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 03:29 PM // 15:29   #15
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Someone please tell the Dolyaks to stop stomping while I try to aim!

Everyone is invited to a cook out this weekend. The specialty will be ........





........ Dolyak-on-a-spit. Plenty for all.
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 03:42 PM // 15:42   #16
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Why don't Dolyak Riders give you two corpses to exploit?
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 03:45 PM // 15:45   #17
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because u d use the dwarven one to kill the beast under it
So its against the petiton main idea
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 03:46 PM // 15:46   #18
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I was kinda thinking Dolyak Steak shish-ka-bobs, with mushrooms and peppers and onions. Bar Bee Q!!
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 04:04 PM // 16:04   #19
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Anyone for coffee..?
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Old Sep 12, 2005, 04:29 PM // 16:29   #20
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ROTFL!!!!

This is brillant!
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